i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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