Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
