woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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