bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
