Old men and throwing up are my life now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
