so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
