so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
