i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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