I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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