omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm just crazy horny about you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
