I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need moral support for this bender
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
