So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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