im about as happy as oj after his trial
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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