i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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