her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
