Need sex. Gaining weight.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize