Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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