Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize