Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
