she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
