Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
