I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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