I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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