we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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