OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize