Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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