...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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