I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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