Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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