The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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