She's JV to your varsity
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just googled if crying burns calories
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
