My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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