Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
