im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
