I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
