u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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