So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
