Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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