he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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