I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
