anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
