i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize