Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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