is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
