You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
