Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
