On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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