So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize