I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize