By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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