Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
