well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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