So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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