I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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