talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
