Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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