i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just pee around me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
