whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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