ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
